Last week I felt like I was starting to slide back into that grey hole of blah, ugh, bah, humbug state. I noticed that I have absolutely NO tolerance or patience about going back there/being there either. Realizing where I am at has helped me put a stop to it. I am serious when I say I am thankful for the snow. I truly believe I needed that exercise and that it stopped my funk. I am also making the effort to visit with others instead of holing up with my laptop in my room.
I am also saddened because I have been unable to find any holiday spirit and cheer this Christmas. Since my mom died in 2003 all holidays and special events lost a lot of their magic for me. That has continued to disappear over the years as I've lost more and more of my family. My maternal grandmother, my daughter, my other maternal uncle, my father. Along with this we were hit with the great recession. Then top it off with being broker than usual this season.
As I mentally worked my way through all that negativity I decided that I must plan better for next year. In retrospect it the best holidays I've had were when I planned well in advance making things so much simpler. More often than not I have been a last minute, stressed shopper due to lack of finances. 2016 will not be like 2015!!! I will be proactive and either put money away for Christmas each month or make/purchase things ahead of time.
There's my pity party, all done and over. I bounced back into a much better mood after getting it out of my system. I truly believe the forced exercise did the trick. I also smudged my room with sage and prayed for the release of the negativity. Oh, and figuring out a plan to make things easier and less upsetting in the future.
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