January, 29, 2016

I have been extremely busy the past two weeks. Between arranging to have last Saturday off for the seminar and all that we have to do at work.  Store resets are a pain in the you know what for us.  We have to re-site the aisles.  On top of that there are a lot of sale changes at the end of the month.

So I arranged to take Saturday, January 23, 2016 off for the "Fundamentals of Armizare" seminar at the Northwest Fencing Academy.  I had a great time.  I met and made new friends in the HEMA community.  I learned some new techniques and worked on adjusting and correcting things I already know.  My practice paid off and despite being a newbie I kept up and did well.  I also met another lovely Esphinges member (international women's HEMA group) who gave me my club badge.  I have never had a club badge before so I fount that rather exciting and cool too.

The first two hours were stretching followed by reviewing and practicing footwork.  My stance will need continued improvement as my feet want to line up when they shouldn't.  (Really worn out shoes are part of my problem.)  Then we went onto some body mechanics.  Practicing proper form for sword strikes.  Then it was lunch time.  After lunch we picked up steel training swords and practiced different guards and strikes.  We stuck to largo plays.  Then we donned masks and gorgets and practiced these moves against partners.  It was a lot of fun.  I didn't get as much out out of the very end as I was getting tired-mentally and physically.  They finished with some sparring where I and the other newbs sat out and watched those more experienced have at it.  Afterwards we went out as a group and had dinner and socialized before we had to split up and head home in our separate directions.

This weekend I stepped out of my comfort zone and did several new things.  I used a steel sword for training.  The biggest was the class itself.  I have never participated in a martial arts class before or done anything like this before.  I have done some swimming exercise classes at the local pool and worked out at Curves.  The whole seminar was an exciting, new experience and I was nervous at first.

I have reached a stage where I gone beyond the "I want to learn" to I am learning and I am doing.  I notice as I practice now there is a feeling of I am a swordswoman instead of a wannabe now.  I am know I still have a lot to learn, practice and experience.  And even years down the road there is always room for improvement and learning.

Monday, January 11, 2016

YAY!  HEMA club training yesterday.  We had seven people total including our fearless leader.  I met three new people.  I believe one was already a member, but the two others are new.  A mother and son.  I've really missed the training and my new friends over the holidays.   We covered footwork, sword grip and some basic guards.  I learned a  few new ways to go from one guard to another. Both in hand to hand combat and with my sword.   I am amazed at how quickly time flies during these training sessions.

I have made the commitment to attend the training seminar, "The Fundamentals of Armizare" on January 23.  I have purchased my ticket and am excited about going.  I will be carpooling with our leader and others.  I have already arranged my work schedule to have Saturday off.

Another milestone I've passed in my life is I am now ten years free of nicotine.  I have anticipated that clean date for years.   And it passed me by.  I didn't remember until three days after that date. Whoops....

I have met my weight loss goals for the holidays.  That goal was not to gain any of what I have lost back.  GOAL ACHIEVED!   Actually I have lost another three pounds.  I stepped on the scales again this morning since I've went in another notch on my belt.

I am spending more time with friends and having a real life, social life outside of work for the first time in years.  I am enjoying it.  I had forgotten what a people person I am.   I still have to have my alone time, but I do enjoy people.  I am one of those lucky people who seem to get along with most anyone.   Maybe because I always look for the good in others and I usually find it.  

I am finally getting back into the swing of things around the homestead here.  And I have actually expanded what I am keeping clean.  My progress is slow, much slower than my impatient self like.  I am working hard to recognize what progress I have made so as not to become dispirited.

Hello Sweet 2016

This is the year to "clean house" and I do mean this about my physical surroundings and my yard.  To sort, clean, toss, organize and fix.   Paint, scrub, patch....etc;

I am excited to see the positive changes in my body this coming year.  The continuation of losing this excess weight, getting back into excellent physical shape and how much better I will feel.  I expect my energy and moods to continue to improve.  Increased stamina, strength and how much I will have learned when it comes to protecting myself.

Cleaner eating and living.   In hindsight I think the malfunction of our refrigerator was a wonderful blessing in disguise.   It still keeps things cold, but not as cold as it should.  Eggs, margarine, cheese and sour cream seem to hold well.   For me it meant a change in my way of thinking and in how I eat. I rarely use bread anymore let alone mayonnaise.  I eat sliced meat (not processed lunch meat) and cheese instead of a sandwich.

My "goals" for 2016 is to keep doing what I have been and to keep working on doing more like I have been.  I am slowly getting back onto the cleaning wagon and am slowly turning chores into good habits.   To continue being good and frugal with my finances.

I do believe I am actually kind of excited about this new year!

Goodbye 2015

Good bye to another year.  2015 was a long year in some respects and in others it flew right on by.  It started out a bit rocky as I was grieving the loss of a twenty five year relationship.   I had to truly accept the fact that I am single and the life I had always expected would never be.  I don't think I had ever given up on the idea of "us" until then.  I never expected to have to have to fight my battles and this world standing on my own without him.  I never expected to run the family business by myself or to be my sole protector and provider.  The loss of that was very hard on me.  It destroyed my sense of who and what I was.  I had a lot of anger, sadness, disappointment and resentment to deal with.

I read a wonderful blog post on Suburban Samurai today.  His posts really resonate with me as I understand the struggle.  I too have lived with despair, grief and even hate.  I have somehow managed to make it through and am slowly emerging from it's terrible dark nothingness into the light.  I am learning albeit slowly how to embrace the light and to live again-not just survive.  May I continue to follow the sacred Red Road for peace, happiness and to remember to be eternally grateful for it.

As I look back and try to put 2015 into perspective I realize how far I have come in the past year.  I finally feel as if I am emerging from the shadows after so many years.  I am learning who and what I am.   Realizing that I am so much more than I ever thought or dreamed.  I am learning to believe in myself and love myself again.  I have learned that there is much about myself to like, respect and even love.  I am strong, kind and honorable.  I have many talents and skills.  

And I am learning to forgive myself for the past.

Bah, Humbug? No Thank You

Last week I felt like I was starting to slide back into that grey hole of blah, ugh, bah, humbug state.  I noticed that I have absolutely NO tolerance or patience about going back there/being there either. Realizing where I am at has helped me put a stop to it.  I am serious when I say I am thankful for the snow.  I truly believe I needed that exercise and that it stopped my funk.   I am also making the effort to visit with others instead of holing up with my laptop in my room.

I am also saddened because I have been unable to find any holiday spirit and cheer this Christmas. Since my mom died in 2003 all holidays and special events lost a lot of their magic for me.  That has continued to disappear over the years as I've lost more and more of my family.  My maternal grandmother, my daughter, my other maternal uncle, my father.  Along with this we were hit with the great recession.   Then top it off with being broker than usual this season.

As I mentally worked my way through all that negativity I decided that I must plan better for next year.  In retrospect it the best holidays I've had were when I planned well in advance making things so much simpler.  More often than not I have been a last minute, stressed shopper due to lack of finances.  2016 will not be like 2015!!!  I will be proactive and either put money away for Christmas each month or make/purchase things ahead of time.

There's my pity party, all done and over.  I bounced back into a much better mood after getting it out of my system.   I truly believe the forced exercise did the trick.  I also smudged my room with sage and prayed for the release of the negativity.  Oh, and figuring out a plan to make things easier and less upsetting in the future.

       

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Had another snowstorm over the weekend.  I sure wasn't looking forward to clearing my block of sidewalks by hand.  Heavy, wet snow.  Too wet for the snowblower.  I was cringing as I envisioned my upcoming sore, abused muscles protesting the workout. However by the time I got off work on Sunday half of it had melted away making the job easier.  Two days later when I figured I would be hurting and maxing out on Aleve instead I have awoke and am not hurting.  I do not need to take any Aleve either.  Wow!  And then someone plowed the glass shop parking lot yesterday.  I believe it was Wade across the street.  THANK YOU!

Sunday I really was getting crabby before I got off work.  My goal was to get the snow off the sidewalks and then I could put on my jammies and hibernate in bed for the rest of the day.  Once I arrived home I changed my clothes and hustled out to get that chore done.  I was hurrying because as a business I try to have it done by noon.  Say daybreak is about six am and I have six hours to remove it so therefore noon is a good time deadline.  After that I had an attitude adjustment and between that, the exercise and fresh air I was back in a good mood and didn't hide out the rest of the day.

No HEMA meeting this past Sunday due to the snow.  I am missing them and seeing the other members.  I do know that this is only temporary.  I am still working on the Posta dance.  I think I have step eight down and am about ready to tackle step nine.  I've had days where I have found myself wanting to slack off.  I have managed to keep myself at it. If for no other reason than I know it will help me and make me feel better in the long run. I also remind myself that to learn it so I can be good at it requires patience and repetition. Then I remind myself of past things I've learned that required that same dedication and practice.  Not to mention that there is a bunch of other reasons to keep at too.  I think this is a good example of one reason why one should keep learning.  I find I am having to learn how to learn again!

Sunday, December 6, 2015

I cannot believe how quickly fall is going by.  Time is really flying by.  Christmas is just over two weeks away.   Where has it gone?  

No HEMA meeting today.  I did have a great practice session tonight.  I spent about an hour practicing.  I am about three fourths of the way through the posta dance he put together for us. Tonight I finally felt it "click".  Especially going from the *Porta di Ferro to *Posta Frontale.  That time I did it and my body just flowed through it.  The moment where one just knows-"that is how it is supposed to work".   And then a few minutes later I moved through the first seven steps beautifully.  Now to keep practicing so I can move with my body like that every time.

Keeping the kitchen and house cleaned up so far.  Actually have cooked a couple of dinners the past week.  I tried my hand at making breakfast egg, bacon and cheese "muffins".  For someone who doesn't tend to cook well without a recipe these turned out great.  

*These are two different guard positions.